she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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