SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
