And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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