she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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