Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
