Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize