If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
