just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
