I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
