saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are two peas in an std pod
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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