Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
