So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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