Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
