why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
