I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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