And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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