god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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