I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
