Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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