Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
