all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
