How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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