Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
