Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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