My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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