dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize