I puked a lego.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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