went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Watching her eat just hurts me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
