at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
