O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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