i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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