i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
