I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
