I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
