I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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