I want to have your abortion
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
