did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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