Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
