Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
