two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
