Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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