So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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