as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
