oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
