That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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