We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
They have beer where we have blood.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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