So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
