literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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