i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
