I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
