She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
