You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is the high leading the old right now
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize