I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
