Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
