my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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