Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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