Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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